What Are You So Afraid Of?

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pixelscared What Are You So Afraid Of?With all the uproar over marriage equality lately, one thing has become abundantly clear: some conservative Christians are blatantly homophobic. I know many of you are thinking “Wow, what a news flash. We’ve known that for years.” True, we have known this for a long time; it’s just that now is they’ve quit trying to hide it. Why do I say that you ask? Let me give you a few examples:

 

  • Hard-core conservative (i.e. Tea Party) politicians in North Carolina proposed an amendment to the state constitution that included a draconian ban on any union save that of marriage between a man and a women, citing their wish to “protect” traditional marriage. This amendment passed with 61% of the vote.
  • In the lead up to the vote, a Baptist pastor in Fayetteville recommended violence against boys who showed what he considered homosexual tendencies and reinforced traditional roles for girls (i.e. wear a dress, look pretty).
  • Another pastor in Winston-Salem, NC advocated the re-criminalization of homosexuality, calling it “a perverted lifestyle” and saying “”For 300 years, we had laws that would prosecute that lifestyle…, We’ve gone down the wrong path. We’ve become so dumb that we have accepted a lie for the truth, and we’ve…discarded the truth on the shoals of shipwreck!”
  • Yet another pastor, this one from Raleigh NC, equated same-sex marriage with bestiality with this lovely comment: “What is stopping them from refining marriage from a person and a beast? We’re not far from that.”
  • After President Obama came out in favor of same-sex marriage, Paul Cameron of the Family Research Institute said the President may be gay and that “.., the long-term goal of the homosexual movement is to get every little boy to grab his ankles and every little girl to give it a try. They will not rest until every one of our children at least gets to try, has the opportunity and maybe is forced to at least once experience homosexual acts.”

Each and every one of these comments are reprehensible, disgusting, despicable and any other derogatory adjective you think of. They pander to the lowest common denominator in humanity and promote pride of place over brotherhood and community. To hear them come from supposed “men of God” (except Cameron, he’s a psychologist and should still know better) makes me sick at heart. I’ve spent a lot of time wondering how people feel this way and I came to the conclusion that they’re afraid (yes, I know that’s another no-brainer).

So, what do I think they’re afraid of? That took a little longer to figure out because there’s no shortage of opinions on the subject. On the Christian front, I believe it boils down to this: for the people fighting against equal right for LGBT people, if the Bible isn’t true on this, it isn’t true on anything. This idea is best addressed by two authors I respect: Phyllis Tickle and Rob Bell. In his book, Velvet Elvis: Repainting the Christian Faith, Bell said:

“..for (these people), faith…,is a wall of bricks. Each of the core doctrines for him is like an individual brick that stacks on top of the others. If you pull one out, the whole wall starts to crumble. It appears quite strong and rigid, but if you begin to rethink or discuss even one brick, the whole thing is in danger.”

“…one of the things that happens in ‘brickworld’: you spend a lot of time talking about how right you are. Which of course leads to how wrong everybody else is. Which then leads to defending the wall [doctrines]“

In The Great Emergence: How Christianity is Changing and Why“,Ms. Phyllis said

” To approach any of the arguments and questions surrounding homosexuality in the closing years of the twentieth century and the opening ones of the twenty-first is to approach a battle to the death. When it is all resolved–and it most surely will be–the Reformation’s understanding of Scripture as it had been taught by Protestantism for almost five centuries will be dead…, Of all the fights, the gay one must be–has to be–the bitterest, because once it is lost, there are no more fights to be had. It is finished.”

So, the wild, unreasoning comments on this subject come from fear of change; the idea that things are going to be different. Maybe so different as to be unrecognizable to the people fighting the change. But, different is not necessarily a bad thing. We’ve just got to find a way to convince our brothers and sisters of that…, which is easier said than done.

 

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Insanely Overblown

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overblown Insanely OverblownThat’s the phrase someone used recently to describe my response to Amendment One and the whole same-sex marriage brouhaha. Their point was that with all the problems in this world, like people going hungry, high unemployment, etc. it seemed rather frivolous for “liberals” (their word) to expend so much energy on marriage equality. I suppose it does look that way from a straight point of view; marriage and all it’s attendant benefits and protections has always been available to us. In this case, familiarity may not have bred contempt, but it seems to have encouraged us to take the thing for granted. Believe me, your outlook is slightly different if you’ve spent your whole life on the outside looking in.

We’ve all done that in our life, been the outsider. Whether it was in school, college or work, I’m pretty sure every one of us has been the new guy, the square peg or the fifth wheel. We’ve noticed conversations stop when we walk by, maybe even heard the muffled laughter after we passed. We’ve gotten a little taste of what it’s like to be left out. For most of us, though, it’s different; eventually, though good-natured persistence, we work our way in to the group. We’re not on the outside anymore, we’re accepted, we’re in. Others don’t always have that option. When the rules of polite society are stacked against you, good-natured persistence just won’t cut it. That’s when you stand up and demand to be let in, when you fight for the rights that God gave every one of us. If you’re one of those on the inside and you happen to notice there are people being kept outside, it is your responsibility, your duty, as a Christian and a human being to open the door and let them in. As my friend Andrew Fischer would say, to do anything else would make Jesus cry.

If you think that’s a poor metaphor, you’re right. That’s because I’m a straight American and we’ve been on top so long, we can’t comprehend what it’s like to be anything else. The idea of not being on top any longer scares the shit out of us, so we find ways to  trivialize  those people who are making us uncomfortable by demanding to be treated like normal human beings. Sad, isn’t it?

A little over two years ago, I started this blog to work out some spiritual issues and,  though it’s gone all over the place since then, there was always a vein of social justice running through everything I wrote. Something changed in the last week, however.  Writers talk about “finding their voice” a lot. There are magazine articles, websites and books dedicated to doing that. Every one I’ve ever read focuses on technical aspects; things like syntax, diction, punctuation, etc. But, they all seem to leave out one important aspect: passion. If you’re not passionate about your subject, your voice will be weak and never heard above the crowd. In the past week, I’ve finally found that passion.

There are people who work with the homeless, people who work with the poor, there are people do great things in overseas ministry. These are all important issues and I care about all of them, as I do all social justice issues. But, the one that has struck me to my core, that has become personal, is equal rights for all God’s children. Including the gay ones; maybe especially the gay ones.

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It’s Cherry-pickin’ Time

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cherry picking bible verses Its Cherry pickin TimeMy conservative brothers and sisters have been rather vociferous lately over what the Bible has to say about sexuality. To be honest, most of it has been quoted out of context. Cherry-picked, if you will. I’m sure you’ve heard that term before, it was all the rage back in early to mid-aughts to describe how the Bush Administration parsed intelligence leading up to the 2003 invasion of Iraq. If you’re still not sure what it means, let’s clear that up now. There are several definitions for the term, but the one that best fits what we’re discussing today comes from Dictionary.com: to choose or take the best or most profitable of (a number of things), especially for one’s own benefit or gain. Using this device, we’ve been told that the heterosexuality is the only acceptable “lifestyle” and that cohabitation in any form other than Christian marriage is verboten. I could spend days picking these arguments apart, but others have done a much better job than I ever could. Besides, I want to engage in a little cherry picking of my own.

If some folks can pull verses out the Bible and use them marginalize others and deny people their natural rights, then why can’t I do the same to defend those rights and welcome those people back into our fellowship? See what you think:

Learn to do good. Seek justice: help the oppressed;defend the orphan; plead for the widow. Isaiah 1:17

Don’t be in debt to anyone, except for the obligation to love each other. Whoever loves another person has fulfilled the Law.  Romans 13:8

Let justice run down like water, and righteousness like a mighty stream.  Amos 5:24

Little children, let’s not love with words or speech but with action and truth. 1 John 3:18

Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute. Psalm 82:3

But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who harass you 45 so that you will be acting as children of your Father who is in heaven Matthew 5:44-45

He has told you, human one, what is good and what the Lord requires from you: to do justice, embrace faithful love, and walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly:

This is my commandment: love each other just as I have loved you. John 15:12

These verses may not be in perfect context, but I’d say they’re damn sight closer to what God wants from us than what we’ve heard.

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Give ‘Em Break?

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give me a break Give Em Break?This is not a good morning. I’m sitting here at my desk, trying to write while fighting back nausea that’s not solely due to chemotherapy. To say that I’m unhappy about Tuesday’s decision on Amendment One is putting it mildly. Frankly, it makes me sick. A few other appropriate adjectives would be outraged, aggrieved, infuriated, offended; take your pick. I’d like to say all that ire has been directed at the what happened, not at who caused it to happen. I’d like to say that, sure, but it would be a big, fat lie. Sorry, but I’ve taken this personally.

I take it personally that 61% of the citizens of my state chose twist and pervert scripture to promote hate, discrimination and prejudice. I take it personally that they chose to use the laws of my home state to marginalize and ostracize people I love. I take it personally because, in doing these things, they are corrupting the Christian faith and the community that I have dedicated my life to. They’ve done so because of fear and ignorance that they’ve cloaked in the name of God. And, I’ve got to tell you, that pisses me off.

Many bloggers, faith leader (one of the best can be found here) and just plain folks have cautioned against angry outbursts, put downs and bullying. I understand what they’re saying, I really do. I’m just not ready to back off yet. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I don’t walk around calling everyone who supported Amendment One ignorant redneck bastards; I just think it…, a lot. I know, that’s really no better than saying it out loud but it’s the best I can do right now. It will take a while, but eventually I’ll get there. That doesn’t mean, however, that I’m not going to call out my errant brothers and sisters (see, better than “ignorant redneck” already) on what they’ve done every chance I get.

Wednesday evening, I saw a Facebook status (posted by a friend) that said “Everyone needs to accept Amendment 1 passed just like I had to accept the fact that Obama won.” To which I replied “As long as this piece of shit is on the books, my daughter is a second-class citizen. So, no, I don’t accept it.” Or, something like that, he deleted it shortly after I replied. But, he’s not the only person I’ve heard say that sort of thing. And, the more I hear it, the  more I want to ask “What, are you feeling a little buyer’s remorse there, Sparky? Did you just go in the booth and mark your mark out of reflex and, only now are you beginning to see what you’ve done?” I hope that’s the case. I hope that, in your  quiet moments, there’s nagging thought in the back of your mind. One that pokes at you and says “What if I was wrong?” Because the thought of you just going on about your business, blithely ignorant of what this vote means might just be the saddest, yet most infuriating thing I can think of.

Give you break? Let it go? Not gonna happen. I, and every other supporter of equal rights for all God’s children aren’t letting you off the hook that easy. And, we’re doing this because, even though we are mightily pissed at you, we also love you and want you join us in the Kingdom of Heaven.

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We Did it. We Really Did it

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amendment one pass We Did it. We Really Did itIn the last week, two institutions that I have put a lot of faith in have let me down in rather dramatic ways. First, the United Methodist Church voted to keep divisive and hurtful language in the Discipline (their rulebook) that says

“While persons set apart by the Church for ordained ministry are subject to all the frailties of the human condition and the pressures of society, they are required to maintain the highest standards of holy living in the world. The practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching. Therefore self-avowed practicing homosexuals are not to be certified as candidates, ordained as ministers, or appointed to serve in The United Methodist Church”.

In fact, the conservative majority refused even to allow an amendment that said the whole church doesn’t agree on this. All in all, I think it’s a most unChristian stance; so much so that yesterday I gave up my membership in the UMC, saying ”I  love the UMC, the teachings of Wesley and it’s commitment to social justice. But, I cannot in good conscience continue to belong to an organization that discriminates.” Would that I could the same with the other institution.

If there was a way to give up citizenship in North Carolina and just walk away, at this moment, I would. Unfortunately, that’s not possible. I’m tied to the state familially, financially, mentally and emotionally. The other day, on The God Article, Rev. Mark Sandlin starts out by stealing a line from an North Carolina PSA “I like calling North Carolina home”. Normally, I agree; hell, I’d even one up him and say I love calling it home. Not so much today, though. You see, yesterday the citizens of the state I love calling home deciding to codify division, discrimination and hate into our constitution with that abomination, Amendment One. If you’ve been out of the loop (or under a rock), this discourse of hate says:

“Marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State.”

Sounds rather innocuous, doesn’t it. At least, it does until you realize that as long it’s on the books same-sex couples will be denied the rights that straight couples take for granted. Things like covering your spouse (and their children) on your insurance, protection against domestic violence, making health care decisions concerning their spouse, even visiting them in the hospital. While this hateful turd was supposedly aimed at LGBT people, the shit splatters other places too. Like on unmarried straight couples; the amendment specifically says “marriage… is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State.” Nobody is really sure how this will go, because no other state has an amendment with that language. I’m guessing it won’t go well, though.  Now, North Carolina has joined the haters and has shit all over a significant portion of the population. See why I want to just walk away?

But, I can’t. My family is here, my job is here, my life is here. The family part is the hardest, because my youngest daughter (17) has recently come out as gay. It wasn’t enough that churches and “Christians” (I use that term very loosely), including some family members, tell her she’s a sinner, an abomination, that she’s going to hell, etc., now the state has weighed in to say that she’s unworthy of basic human rights. That’s just fucking great.

I saw a post on Facebook yesterday that was looking forward to today because they thought they wouldn’t hear anymore about Amendment One. I hate to disappoint them, but we’re not going away and we’re not shutting up about it.

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The New Jim Crow?

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Jim Crow1 The New Jim Crow?In 1875, the state of North Carolina passed a constitutional amendment about marriage. This one declared “all marriages between a white person and a Negro or between a white person and a person of Negro descent to the third generation inclusive are, hereby, forever prohibited.” Now, when this amendment passed, there were no “activist judges” who might thwart the will of the people by determining that will was discriminatory. According to an opinion piece in the Raleigh News and Observer, this 1875 amendment was “apparently designed to serve other aims. It was constitutionalism by epithet, by exclamation point…, North Carolinians used the constitution to double down – to declare, in as potent a format as exists, their unyielding hostility to marriage between blacks and whites.” Now, 137 years later, North Carolinians find themselves once again being asked whether the constitution of this great state should be used to deny a basic human right to one group of citizens. What a lot of progress we’ve made.

I’m sure if you were to ask the authors and sponsors of Amendment One if they felt kinship with their 1875 predecessors, they’d be aghast. No politician worth their salt wants to be likened to the men who enacted the Jim Crow laws of the late 19th and 20th centuries; that would be suicidal. But, whether they meant to or not, they have a crafted an amendment that will stand beside the anti-miscegenation bill of 1875 in its callous disregard for the equality of all people. In the title of this article (and in this paragraph), I’ve mentioned twice “Jim Crow” now, so in case you don’t remember what you learned in history class, Jim Crow laws were enacted to maintain a strict policy of separation between black and white. And, Amendment One will do the same thing to the LGBT community.

We hear a lot from groups like Focus on the Family, the National Organization of Marriage, the American Family Association, etc. about the “gay agenda”. I know quite a few LGBT folks and, best as I can tell, they don’t have an agenda; they just want to live their life and be treated the same as everyone else. I can’t say the same about the groups who are always yapping about it (see above). It’s becoming quite obvious that anti-gay groups have an agenda and that is to push gay people back in the closet. Well, that’s not exactly true. What they really want is the complete extinction of anything other than heterosexuality. What else can you say about groups that quote Leviticus and Deuteronomy (passages that demand the death penalty for transgressors) to show that homosexuality is a sin?

We are told this amendment is needed to protect marriage; that, if passed, it won’t imperil children’s health care or remove legal protections from victims of spousal abuse; that is open for debate. Tomorrow is the last chance you have to tell them that North Carolina doesn’t believe in discrimination, that we will not amend our constitution to take away  another’s rights. It’s your last chance to show the world what North Carolina will not usher in a new era of Jim Crow. Vote against Amendment One. It’s the right thing to do.

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Silent No More

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GC2012 Silent No MoreI’ve spent quite a few years as a card-carrying Methodist and I can tell you, nothing makes a Methodist more uncomfortable than the disruption of the orderly flow of whatever’s going on. Methodists are obsessed with order and discipline. Hell, the name of the denomination’s rule book is “The Book of Discipline of the United Methodist Church”. So you can imagine the reaction when, as Bishop Warner Brown was closing the Wednesday afternoon session of the 2012 General Conference with prayer, one hundred protesters walked into the middle of things, singing “Wade in the Water” and chanting “We are here and we will remain in this church until we make disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of ALL OF US!” Reactions were mixed, some delegates left the hall while others stayed and watched, many recording the event on phones and tablets. At the end of the Thursday’s morning session, another group of protesters took the floor and began singing “What Does the Lord Require of You?” and refused to leave even though the presiding bishop asked them to leave several times and finally closed the session. These protests, and others, came about because delegates voted to maintain the church’s stance on sexuality. The UMC is the only mainline denomination that has not embraced full inclusion for the LGBT community and it was thought by many that this would the year that things would change. Alas, it was not to be.

Reading the comments on the linked blogs, I was astounded to see people were more concerned that order was disrupted and a respectful tone wasn’t maintained than they were that a significant number of their brothers and sisters are hurting. Several people said they were in accordance with the aims of the protesters, but did not care for their methods. Unfortunately, one cannot speak truth to power by being orderly and respectful. If you do, power will ignore, push you aside and marginalize you. Those who believe the UMC should bring our LGBT brothers and sisters into our fellowship fully have been orderly and respectful for 40 years. It has gotten us exactly nowhere and it’s time high we changed tactics. That discrimination is codified into the documents that govern a church that was founded on the principle of social justice is obscene. Telling our brothers and sisters that their sexuality, a core part of who they are, is sinful and “incompatible with Christian teaching” is disgusting and a stain on the soul of the church. It makes ashamed to say I am a member of the United Methodist Church. Because of this, while I am still a member, I no longer consider myself a Methodist. Maybe it’s time to make that official.

There are those who say the full inclusion is inevitable and we just need to be patient. We should wait to be true disciples of Christ? If we just wait long enough, we’ll finally love our neighbor as Jesus instructed? Sorry, I’m not willing to wait.

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Tell Me Again How You’re Saving Marriage?

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vote against2 Tell Me Again How Youre Saving Marriage?The primary election this year is a novelty for North   Carolina. I don’t remember the last time one made a dime’s worth of difference on the state and national level. That’s changed with the inclusion of Amendment One this time around. For those of you who may be a little out of touch with the Tarheel State, Amendment One is our version of the “Keep your gay ass in the closet” bills designed to deprive the LGBT community of the rights we normal people enjoy; you know, things like getting married, caring for and visiting our spouses in the hospital, raising a family, nothing important. And, if that’s not bad enough, whoever wrote this legislative turd did a piss-poor job, because the language is so ambiguous it will hit straight couples, too. Oh, not good, God-fearing married couples, though. Just those heathens who openly live in sin and don’t have the common decency to allow the Church to bless their union. And, I wonder if that’s on purpose.

I have to tell you, I have a bit of split personality. One side of me is most definitely a glass half full kind of guy. The other side is a curmudgeon on a level with H. L. Mencken, the curmudgeon’s curmudgeon. My Pollyannish side wants to give our Republican brothers (as far as I can tell,only men were involved in writing this steamer. Doesn’t that make you ladies feel better?) the benefit of the doubt, that they didn’t mean put a constitutional amendment up for consideration that could strip legal protection from families, leaving victims of domestic abuse at the mercy of their abusers, remove some children’s health care and even take them away from the only parents they’ve ever known. My snarky, cynical side says “Yeah, right. Those assholes knew exactly what they were doing when they used such ambiguous language. They are lawyers, after all.” And, so I find myself on the horns of a dilemma; either our elected officials are so stupid they didn’t realize what a Pandora’s box they would be opening with the  vague wording of their bill or, they’re sanctimonious, self-righteous bastards who want to punish anyone who doesn’t believe (and behave) exactly as they do. What to do, what to do?

Unfortunately, both are totally viable options. I mean, how many times have we seen politicians step on their…, um, appendages and do some really stupid things (see John Edwards).  As for arrogance, remember Darrell Issa’s (R-CA) panel on contraceptives? You know, the one that dealt with an issue of immediate concern to women and had zero women on it? In fact, they wouldn’t even let women testify before the committee, leading to Rush Limbaugh’s most notable attack of oral diarrhea. In the end, I suppose it doesn’t matter why they did what they did, only that they did it. Which, in reality, is a stroke of luck for those of us opposed to Amendment One. Pointing out how bad this pile of shit is to all North Carolinians is making a difference. Before we started talking about this, passage was all but guaranteed. Now, the gap is closing. We can only hope it will close by May 8th. In the meantime, I just wish someone in favor of this late-term abortion of the  legal system would explain to me how you’re protecting marriage by keeping other people from getting married.

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Support The Troops!

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stand behind the troops Support The Troops!There are a multitude of graphics online that, one way or another, urge everyone to “Support the troops”. I’m wondering where this is coming from because, from what I can see, except for a few repugnant trolls out there, most everyone does support the troops. What some of us don’t support is the way the troops are being used. I’m going to be honest here and say that when I see one of these things, it reminds me of the old saying from the Vietnam era “If you don’t love it, leave it!” That came from Merle Haggard’s song “Fightin’ Side of Me” and became a rallying cry of Nixon’s “Silent Majority” in the late sixties and early seventies. What I’m really hearing is “Support the government in whatever way they choose to use our military or shut the hell up”. Precisely because I love my country and my brothers and sisters who serve, I can’t do that.

I can’t do that because I am a Christian. I follow a man who told His disciples to love their enemies, to turn the other cheek, to bless those who curse you. I cannot believe Jesus would condone the actions the United States has taken in the “War on Terror”. Hell, I can’t believe He’d condone declaring war on anything, much an act or a tactic/strategy. In a time and place torn by violence and retribution, He called for a different way of doing things, a way of love and forgiveness, saying if we only love those who love us, what have we accomplished? There are those who disagree with me on this and will quote scripture about swords and we can argue context and meaning all day. But, for me, the instance in the Gospels that is most informative of how Jesus felt about the subject occurs in Luke, when Judas betrays him with a kiss. One of the disciples with him draws a sword and cuts off the ear of the arresting party. Jesus’ reaction? To say “Stop! No more of this!” He touched the slave’s ear and healed him.” Not exactly an embrace of violence is it?

I support the troops in my own way. And, that is through a fervent desire to see every one of them home safe and sound, no longer subjected to the deterioration of the soul that has infected every imperial force throughout history. I want them home and spending these days with their families, their spouses, their children. I will voice this in any way I see fit. If you think that means I don’t support our troops, you are oh so wrong

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It’s A Mystery

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trinity Its A MysteryIn my recent entry, “He Was a Disciple“, I mentioned that my father held some less than orthodox beliefs. He was especially fond of the those espoused in Religious Science and he was open to even more eccentric (as in “deviating from the recognized or customary”, not weird). If my dad felt this way, my brother does even more so; embracing beliefs related to Native Americans and something called “pronoia“. At the heart of both of their theologies, however, is a strong belief in God and the message of Jesus. Both of them, however, have always been more willing to embrace the mystery inherent in spiritual beliefs than me.

In truth, I have more in common with Thomas Jefferson when it comes to this subject. Jefferson, a deist, loved the social justice (strange for a man who was a slave owner, I know) aspects of what Jesus taught but utterly rejected any mention of the divinity of Jesus. So much so, in fact, that he made his own New Testament by razoring out the passages he liked and pasting them onto pages that he later had bound into a book, The Jefferson Bible, which focused on Jesus’ moral teaching and leaves out completely any mention of angels, prophecy, genealogy or miracles. Now, I don’t go that far, but accepting things like the virgin birth, raising people from the dead (including Himself) and ascending into heaven is hard for me. There are two pieces of this mystical pie that I embrace without as much hesitation and that’s communion and the Trinity. I think I accept communion because there’s a physical aspect to it. The sharing of the bread and wine provides a touchstone that ties me to the symbolism involved in the act. Plus, I’m well aware of the sense of community that is fostered by sharing a meal and Christianity is nothing if not communal. As for the Trinity, I have no idea why I can handle that but I balk at believing that Jesus was born of a virgin; nor why I enjoy reading the Christian mystics, like Meister Eckhart, Julian of Norwich and (my favorite) Thomas Merton. Go figure.

In past writings, I’ve referred to myself as a nuts and bolts kind of guy and mysticism is anything but nuts and bolts. But, for all that it makes me uncomfortable, I’m still drawn to it. I want to believe all these things and still have room for what I believe is the core of the Jesus message, which is best summed up by this passage of the book “Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal“:

“You should be nice to people, even creeps. And if you: a) believed that Joshua was the Son of God (and) b) he had come to save you from sin (and) c) acknowledged the Holy Spirit within you (became as a little child, he would say) (and) d) didn’t blaspheme the Holy Ghost (see c) then you would: e) live forever f) someplace nice g) probably heaven However, if you: h) sinned (and/or) i) were a hypocrite (and/or) j) valued things over people (and) k) didn’t do a, b, c, and d, then you were: l) fucked”

My problem is a,b,c and d involve a heavy dose of mystery and, because of that, are hard for me. I hope that doesn’t mean I’m l) fucked.

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